she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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