Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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