So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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