Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize