i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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