dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he thought i was a dude.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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