When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Mom said you looked used
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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