Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize