there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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