New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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