Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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