One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize