batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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