How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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