Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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