He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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