oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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