I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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