I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize