eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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