Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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