problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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