i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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