And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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