Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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