dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize