I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize