she woke up with a sticky ear
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize