is your mom at the bar?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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