Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize