I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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