White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize