the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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