I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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