Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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