Sry I called you an 8
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like abortions should bother me more
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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