I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize