Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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