Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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