well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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