very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish i was in the wii world.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
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Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
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Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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