i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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