Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize