I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize