I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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