O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Please don't give away my fajitas
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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