I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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