My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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