do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize