I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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